Become a bowling master


Fearmongering In The Media

Having recently watched "Bowling forthe channel because, according to TV,
Columbine" for the 2nd time, I stillthis is the world I live in. There's no
remain chilled with emotion regardingescape, except maybe on that Mars rover.
the events leading up to the making ofOh wait, that cost 3 billion dollars,
the film. And although many years havemore bad news for the taxpayer.
passed since the actual incident, theEveryone it seems needs to proclaim bad
proximity of such chaos remains close.news to get their message heard. "We're
Why is that?protesting because," "we're here
Why is it that in 2007, people will grabbecause," "this is a problem because."
the gun to deal with what bothers themEven George W. Bush, the friggin'
rather than use their intellect? We havePresident of the United States of
to assume that these people do possessAmerica called a news conference to tell
some form of cerebral activity, sinceus that "a blanket alert has been issued
they can identify and recognizeover a general threat." What the hell
whatever, or whomever is the source ofdoes that mean? Did he really need to
their aggravation. And thusly reactcall a presser to tell us that? Was
accordingly in the simplest and mostthere not anything else on his mind that
violent way possible.would have attracted the attention of
Again, why is that?the people besides a cryptic message
Probably because they - and this can bestating that we're all in danger?
extended to include the general populaceMaybe we're all voyeurs. Perhaps we want
- are told that things in general areto see the misery that other people go
dangerous, bad, and not like you and I.through, in order to feel better about
Hey, we're constantly reminded of howourselves. Could it be that when we see
pathetic the healthcare system is, thethat Ford stocks have dropped because
ballooning of unemployment rates, andtheir new minivan explodes when you
how (insert noun here) could possibly bestart it, we need to go off on a rampage
linked towards maybe perhaps giving us ato sympathize with that poor soccer mom?
slight chance that potentially mightBad news will always beget bad news.
give us cancer. Maybe. With news likeAfter Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald
that, I'm almost inclined to fetch myon TV, nobody changed the channel
Smith & Wesson and sit on the frontbecause everyone was scared they might
porch just itchin' to delete anythingmiss something. We see crummy things,
that crosses me wrong.we act crummy, and then we watch the
Think about this: most newscasts featurecrummy news to see if the crummy thing
"human interest stories." Why then, arewe did will be on.
the stories that are, by definition,How nice.
interesting to humans not shown at theYes, the world does indeed suck. Maybe
top of the broadcast? Do the storiesall those moody teenagers have it right.
that are important to my dog takeStill, we can show 'em. How about news
precedence over me? Are we living on theand information that is good and useful?
Planet of the Apes, therefore needing to"Today on CNN, how to make fat free
wait until the simian population getschocolate." Wouldn't that be nice,
their news first?rather than "today on CNN, every person
No, of course not.in the world is overweight." I think so.
What we are living in is a 24 hour newsEvery nightly newscast should be read by
broadcast of perpetual despair and doomthe Care Bears. Newspapers should be
& gloom. Is not the most depressingwritten in magic marker. And you can
show on television the nightly news?only watch CNN, or anything like that
Economic downtown, political scandal,after your bedtime story.
violence, murder, and the occasionalYeah, that'll get great ratings.
nipple shown on TV. And I can't change



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