| Having recently watched "Bowling for | | | | the channel because, according to TV, |
| Columbine" for the 2nd time, I still | | | | this is the world I live in. There's no |
| remain chilled with emotion regarding | | | | escape, except maybe on that Mars rover. |
| the events leading up to the making of | | | | Oh wait, that cost 3 billion dollars, |
| the film. And although many years have | | | | more bad news for the taxpayer. |
| passed since the actual incident, the | | | | Everyone it seems needs to proclaim bad |
| proximity of such chaos remains close. | | | | news to get their message heard. "We're |
| Why is that? | | | | protesting because," "we're here |
| Why is it that in 2007, people will grab | | | | because," "this is a problem because." |
| the gun to deal with what bothers them | | | | Even George W. Bush, the friggin' |
| rather than use their intellect? We have | | | | President of the United States of |
| to assume that these people do possess | | | | America called a news conference to tell |
| some form of cerebral activity, since | | | | us that "a blanket alert has been issued |
| they can identify and recognize | | | | over a general threat." What the hell |
| whatever, or whomever is the source of | | | | does that mean? Did he really need to |
| their aggravation. And thusly react | | | | call a presser to tell us that? Was |
| accordingly in the simplest and most | | | | there not anything else on his mind that |
| violent way possible. | | | | would have attracted the attention of |
| Again, why is that? | | | | the people besides a cryptic message |
| Probably because they - and this can be | | | | stating that we're all in danger? |
| extended to include the general populace | | | | Maybe we're all voyeurs. Perhaps we want |
| - are told that things in general are | | | | to see the misery that other people go |
| dangerous, bad, and not like you and I. | | | | through, in order to feel better about |
| Hey, we're constantly reminded of how | | | | ourselves. Could it be that when we see |
| pathetic the healthcare system is, the | | | | that Ford stocks have dropped because |
| ballooning of unemployment rates, and | | | | their new minivan explodes when you |
| how (insert noun here) could possibly be | | | | start it, we need to go off on a rampage |
| linked towards maybe perhaps giving us a | | | | to sympathize with that poor soccer mom? |
| slight chance that potentially might | | | | Bad news will always beget bad news. |
| give us cancer. Maybe. With news like | | | | After Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald |
| that, I'm almost inclined to fetch my | | | | on TV, nobody changed the channel |
| Smith & Wesson and sit on the front | | | | because everyone was scared they might |
| porch just itchin' to delete anything | | | | miss something. We see crummy things, |
| that crosses me wrong. | | | | we act crummy, and then we watch the |
| Think about this: most newscasts feature | | | | crummy news to see if the crummy thing |
| "human interest stories." Why then, are | | | | we did will be on. |
| the stories that are, by definition, | | | | How nice. |
| interesting to humans not shown at the | | | | Yes, the world does indeed suck. Maybe |
| top of the broadcast? Do the stories | | | | all those moody teenagers have it right. |
| that are important to my dog take | | | | Still, we can show 'em. How about news |
| precedence over me? Are we living on the | | | | and information that is good and useful? |
| Planet of the Apes, therefore needing to | | | | "Today on CNN, how to make fat free |
| wait until the simian population gets | | | | chocolate." Wouldn't that be nice, |
| their news first? | | | | rather than "today on CNN, every person |
| No, of course not. | | | | in the world is overweight." I think so. |
| What we are living in is a 24 hour news | | | | Every nightly newscast should be read by |
| broadcast of perpetual despair and doom | | | | the Care Bears. Newspapers should be |
| & gloom. Is not the most depressing | | | | written in magic marker. And you can |
| show on television the nightly news? | | | | only watch CNN, or anything like that |
| Economic downtown, political scandal, | | | | after your bedtime story. |
| violence, murder, and the occasional | | | | Yeah, that'll get great ratings. |
| nipple shown on TV. And I can't change | | | | |