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Anti-Minuteman Observer & Reporter

Dear Anti-Minuteman Observer and
Reporter:These Minuteman yahoos are trying to"Tex" the Enlightened OneDear TEO:When the
tell me that if I really loved America that IMinuteman Project knot-heads come a calling,
would suddenly, like a light bulb turning oncatch and hogtie them, then call the Sheriff
in my head, realize their cause was right andand have them arrested for trespassing on
good and would let them come on my land andyour  land.Signed,
do God only knows what to those illegals the
wife and I have coffee with everyAMOR***Dear AMOR:I attended one of those
morning.Signed,Minuteman Project meetings where they kept
telling us that if we were real patriots that
Billy Joe Bob ("Tex")Dear "Tex",Oh, pleasewe would jump at the chance to permit them to
call me AMOR for short. You'll get a headachecome on our land to "observe and report" all
trying to write out that whole name. Ok,those lovely Mexicans crossing the border to
here's the scoop. The Minuteman Projectpick our fruit. But what I cannot understand
people and all their friends (do they reallyis why they were all armed to the teeth with
have friends?) use an argument that is almosta gun on every hip at this meeting and why
300 years old. The offspring of the originalwill they want to take their guns on my land
English settlers of America used theif they are there just to "observe and
identical craziness, pitching a hissy fitreport"?Signed,
over German and Scottish-Irish IMMIGRANTS
coming to America to find a better life.HereClovis in LaredoDear Clovis:Did anyone ever
it is briefly:"With unemployment attell  you  that  you  have  a  GREAT  name?
chronically high rates in nearly all
countries, it is not surprising that theThere are many mysteries in life, Clovis,
number of explanations and interpretations isand I am afraid the gun toting "observing and
on the rise. In less developed countries, wereporting" Minuteman are just one of
are told, the high birth rates and populationthem.Here are the only things I can figure
growth rates exceed the ability ofout:1. Some of them think they look really
agriculture and industry to absorb the newcool in their cowboy outfits and gun belts.2.
population, with the result of increasingSome of them didn't get to play much "cowboy
unemployment. In the industrial countries,and Indians" when they were kids so they are
where the rates of growth of population arecompensating.3. Some of them are still only
much lower, the explanations cover a widekids.4. Some really, really, really want to
spectrum from the Marxian exploitationshoot some hapless Mexican.5. Some of them
doctrine to the Keynesianwant to have the press take their pictures
inadequate--spending theory. In the Unitedlooking like Roy Rogers.6. Some of them
States, the oldest explanation of them all issuffer from severe paranoid delusions and are
coming to the fore. Rooted in the fear andin need of heavy doses of psychotropic
resentment of foreigners, many of whom aremedications.Other than that, I don't know
illiterate and poor, more and more Americanswhat  else  to  tell  you,  Clovis.
are pointing at the newcomers as the cause of
their difficulties. Labor leaders,Did your parents ever tell you just "why"
especially, are quick to vilify "the illegalthey  named  you,  "Clovis"?Signed,
aliens" for the chronic unemployment that is
plaguing organized labor." [1]There you haveAMOR***[1] Illegal Aliens; by Hans F.
it.  Let  me  know  what  you  think.Signed,Sennholz;Doug Bower is a freelance writer,
Syndicated Columnist, and book author. His
AMOR***Dear AMOR:Took the wife and me themost recent writing credits include The
better part of three weeks to figure thisAtlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston
out. We had to call the little woman'sChronicle, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and
nephew, Avis, who just got out of college. HeTransitions Abroad. He is a columnist with
explained it fine. So what do I do when themand more than 21 additional online magazines.
there Mexican hunters come wanting to catchHe is also a writer with with a readership of
and hog-tie them some Mexicans on myalmost 6,000. He lives with his wife in
land?Signed,Guanajuato, Mexico.



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